What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What type of fish is best for fish tacos?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What do you think of casting Emma Watson as the next James Bond?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What is something brutally honest that needs to be said?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why am I so tired of the keto diet?

Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What do the Kamala Harris/Tim Walz campaign ads following Taylor Swift's endorsement mean?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”